Birds

It's a bit hot out (Understatement of the century)

So I'm naked as I write this.

I love this weather; flocks of attractive women appear from nowhere - I think they must be solar-powered or something. And they are everywhere you look. I wonder how many more car accidents occur in this weather, caused by distraction alone.

On a separate note; I've been attacked by seagulls twice this week.

They just suddenly appear, cawing and swooping and diving at me, two or three of them at a time. Has there been an open-air screening of Hitchcock's "The Birds" recently?

I've checked and there is definitely nothing enticing in my hair. Nor do I smell of fish (I've been working in the Women's Ward and they are particularly sensitive about that kind of thing - doctors' lunch is carefully monitored - tuna breath sends out the wrong signal apparently...)

Bizarre

Anyway - back to work...

Boob

So I may have offended one of the midwives...

Her patient was still wearing her undies underneath her hospital gown when she arrived in the operating theatre for her Caesarean Section. The midwife was trying to help her undress and was taking forever.

I offered to leave them to it, but the patient said it was OK to stay so I turned away and carried on chatting to them.

All I said was "I can get a bra off someone faster than that..."
Patient laughed, midwife growled...

I'm not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow...
Hell hath no fury like a madwitch midwife scorned...

BREAKING NEWS

Sophie Ellis-Bextor found headbutted to death in French footballer's apartment

Apparently it was Murder on Zidane's floor...

Articulate

Some friends & I played Articulate last week. It's a fantastic game - you have to describe as many words as possible for your teammates to guess in 30 seconds, different categories, travel round a board, etc.

The thing about it is that you don't have to be clever - but you do need to be able to predict how your teammates will think.

example 1: The place to describe was 'Caspian Sea' which I got from the description, "Friendly ghost..."

Actually, it's more fun if your teammates are very stupid. You can learn a lot about your friends that way.

example 2: The answer on the card was 'Mozart'
She said "Who wrote the Fifth Symphony...?"

Rather worryingly, her team mate's answer WAS "Mozart" and they won the point...

Flags

All the flags from all the cars in all of Eng-er-land have mysteriously vanished over the weekend... Obviously no-one's proud to be English anymore.

Well, I want to make a giant red sudoku board to play with in the garden.

So post me your unwanted St George flags so I can stitch them together.
(Failing that, email them to me)

Cheers
-S-