Flowers
I was driving back from work today and I thought it would be nice to buy some flowers for my girlfriend.
Now, before you start, let me just point some things out:
- I wasn't feeling guilty about anything
- I didn't need to apologise for something
- I wasn't going to beg her for a threesome
- I wasn't trying to butter her up (see above)
I just thought it would be nice and would make her happy.
So I pulled up at an florist - one of those big ones which also sells petrol, charcoal briquettes and porn - and had a look round. I spotted a beautiful bunch of 8 pink roses. Pink roses symbolise appreciation and gratitude. I thought that these would be a nice way of showing I care.
(Plus all the others were wilting and these ones were only four quid.)
Done.
I lay them carefully across the passenger seat next to me so I could make sure they would be protected for the drive home. The journey takes an hour, which coincidentally was just enough time to pick off almost 50% of the price sticker on the plastic wrapping (don't get me started on stickers that don't come off without a fight...). I got the top layer off, with all the writing & the price printed on it - but was left with an ugly, almost square, sticky white patch on the plastic.
It'll have to do.
When I got to Sarah's road, I pulled over for a minute to practice something Hugh Grant-y to say, then parked outside hers.
She opened the door and I humbly presented the roses to her.
Her face lit up & she gave me a you're-a-fantastic-boyfriend hug.
"Aw, you even got me the easy-to-look-after ones - thank you"
Hey - extra points for me without even trying. I AM the best.
I was just about to ask what she meant when I registered that there was a bead of water on the petals on the middle rose which had been in exactly the same position when I first picked up the flowers. The flowers which, come to think of it, looked perfect, almost unreal...
I managed to buy plastic flowers without noticing.
Bollocks.
Oh well. At least these ones should last longer.
I still reckon she could kill them though...
posted by Suman @ 10:36 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
I can well sympathise with your lack of observation skills. I once walked past a corpse at Raynes Park station without noticing (this story may be apocryphal). Just be grateful that you at least bought some form of flowers and not, for instance, a ferret. I think that the average male inability to detect sophisticated visual symbols is one of the biggest sources of frustration and despair to their female colleagues. I have often walked away from conversations with people without having noticed (a) their new hair colour, (b) their new beard and (c) most memorably, their new wheelchair. So keep up the good work.
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