ICU Baby

I've been working pretty much non-stop on Intensive Care this week (eg 6pm to 10am yesterday) and lots has been going on.

Most importantly, going back to my post about organ donation, I got a wonderful letter today from the transplant team telling me who has benefitted from receiving my patient's donated organs. It was all anonymous, but along the lines of "Her liver went to a 35 year-old father of two who had such-and-such disease". It's heartening to know that at least some good can come from a tragic death.

Other things:
- Yesterday I got to ride in an ambulance transferring a patient to another hospital (they even put the siren on! Woo!)

- I learnt that one of my colleagues is pregnant (Phew - I was worried that she was putting on weight really quickly; not good if you're job is the nutrition specialist)

- I had to miss the staff Hallowe'en party last night cos I was at work, so to make up for it I went round the Intensive Care Unit putting hats & costumes on all the people in a coma *

- One patient got so confused after his operation that he was convinced he was on a film set being experimented on and refused to let anyone near him to look after him... so they called muggins here to help out. How do you negotiate with someone like that? I suggested blowdarts but they wouldn't let me...spoilsports...

- There was a very uncomfortable moment when one of the nurses told me she was "yawning" and I thought she'd said "horny"...


Anyway I'm in the middle of moving house, surrounded by boxes & I can hear ringing from somewhere...

Laters
- S -


* Of course I didn't bloody do that, but I nearly choked when someone else suggested it! I mean, the patients wouldn't know, right...?

Carma

I'm a big fan of Dara O'Briain. Or at least I used to be.

I'd seen him do stand-up on telly many years ago (before he got famous) and I'd always wanted to go & see him live. A few years ago when I was at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, I knew he was doing a show & I was really looking forward to seeing him. When I got there, I was gutted to find all the tickets had sold out for every night. So imagine my joy when he added an extra day to his run of shows! At that time he was my comedic hero. And I had a ticket.

So earlier in the afternoon I went to see some rather peculiar stand-up on the other side of Edinburgh; I had to leg it halfway across town to get in to Dara's show and I got there just before they closed the doors.

The only seats left were at the front.

I know, I know - I wasn't thinking.

Being a singer (classically trained dontcha know) I seem to have developed a rather loud, clear laugh and O'Briain, being pant-wettingly hilarious live, noticed me laughing my head off right in front of him. So he picked on me. Again & again.

Well, OK, he only asked me a few questions at first. But in a gross lapse of judgement, I said something in an attempt to be funny which backfired massively.
And...er.. I may have dug rather a massive hole for myself. Giving him unlimited ammunition to take the piss repeatedly throughout the show. Which lasted over an hour and a half.

It was excruciating. Even whenever he picked on someone else, they would just remind him about me & he'd come back to have another go.

I have never been so embarrassed in my life.
(And that includes the time I performed an entirely fictional song about a horrendous relationship (no, it's not on the CD) - and Adam dedicated it - in detail - to the girl I'd recently split up with. In front of dozens of her friends.)

After my verbal slaughter by O'Briain, I went straight home & changed my clothes in case anyone who had been in his audience bumped into me that evening & recognised me.
That's how humiliated I was.

Anyway, I had to let it go - I mean, I still thought he was brilliant.
Just not my favourite comedian any more.

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A couple of weeks ago I drove to Wimbledon. Stuck in traffic near the town centre, I noticed in my rear-view mirror that there was a bald bloke being driven in the car behind who looked a bit like an unshaven Dara O'Briain in a light blue shirt. I didn't think anything of it again and drove around trying to find somewhere to park.

Very pedestrianised area is Wimbledon. I ended up going twice round the one-way system looking for somewhere to leave my car that wouldn't cost me a tenner.

At one point I was at pedestrian lights; everyone had crossed, no-one was waiting, lights had turned green, so off I went.

Suddenly out of nowhere, this big bloke leapt out into the road in front of my car, and then froze in terror as he saw me heading towards him.

I SLAMMED on the brakes. The car stopped an inch away from the man.

Bald. Unshaven. Wearing a blue shirt.


Ladies & gentlemen... standing right in front of me was Dara O'Briain.

Looking like he'd just shat his pants.



We're even now....

Amateur Professional Transplants

I didn't go home after one of my night shifts last week. Instead I stayed at work so I could observe an operation I haven't seen before - because it happens so rarely.

Organ donation.

There are hundreds of people waiting for a suitable organ donor to come up so that they can have a transplant. And not just older people whose organs have failed with age & illness; children who have been born with organ dysfunction or who have developed cancers or diseases. Hundreds all over the country.


If you were to come into hospital critically ill (eg after a serious car accident), the doctors would do everything they could to help you recover. If despite treatment, no recovery was made, and the point was reached where your relatives and the medical teams agreed that nothing more could be done, only then would the possibility of organ donation be discussed. (The doctors will NOT give up on you early).

But most people haven't thought much about what they would want in the event of their sudden death. So more often that not, in appropriate cases family members are asked to reckon what the patient would have wanted, at a time when they are also trying to come to terms with their loved-one's death.


It's an interesting point - think about it yourself. If the worst happens, would you want to donate organs and help other people live, so that some good could come of it?

I would.

If you feel the same, have a serious conversation about it with a parent or friend, and make sure they know your wishes. Or you could go further and join the NHS Organ Donor Register.
The common questions are answered here.



Having seen what happens, and how many people could benefit, I've decided I'm going to donate my organs.

But hopefully not too soon.
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BTW don't think about what would happen if you were to put somebody else's name on your Donor Card. If you died of a brain haemorrhage, your mate Steve would NOT have his kidneys removed - it doesn't work like that.

Back door (RELOADED)

I love clever advertisements.



The ad above reminded me to show you this sign spotted outside an NHS clinic.




I think it's part of the new NHS campaign to prevent unwanted pregnancy...


EDIT: And here's Madonna's version

Put-down

After months of trying to cope, I finally had to relent and take my beloved to see the vet.

The poor thing smells funny (although that could be because she stopped eating meat a while ago), she's moody a lot of the time and she keeps moulting, leaving blonde hairs all over everything wherever she goes.

I asked the vet to do the kind thing and give her an injection to make her "sleep". He refused.


Apparently girlfriends don't count as pets.

Pot calling

I think I might be in a bit of trouble...

I'm renting a flat from a mate and he left it fully furnished, including a kettle. I don't drink tea or coffee - I mean, what is the point?
Anyway, last night I fancied some pasta, so I picked up the kettle to fill it. And the base was hot. Very very hot.

Funny, I thought, I haven't used it since I last had pasta... Actually, I haven't made pasta since I moved in... have I? I switched the kettle on once, a few weeks ago, to boil some water for pasta but then changed my mind and had something else for dinner... but surely it would have switched itself off? I tried the on/off switch.

It was stuck in the "on" position. And had been for over a month.

Fuck.
The water had boiled off long ago. The heating filament inside looked... unhappy (and that was after I'd chipped away the thick layer of black stuff covering it). Anyway I did what any decent tenant would do *


But Lord knows what my electricity bill's going to look like... actually:

Let's say the kettle's been on for 6 weeks (ahem) continuously;

A normal 2 kiloWatt kettle uses lots of energy, but only for a few minutes at a time. UNLESS IT'S FUCKING BROKEN.

24hrs x 42 days = 1008hrs

One "Unit" of electricity is 1 kW.hour and costs about 8p

2kW x 1008 hrs = 2016 units of electricity @ 8p/unit

= £161.28

Fuck.
What an absolute fucking waste of money. I could've eaten out every day for that amount.

On the bright side, I s'pose it's a good job the house didn't catch fire - I've grown kind of fond of it.

And I reckon I'll find out how often my landlord reads my blog.


^*I boiled the water in a pan & hid the kettle in a cupboard. What? It's not my fault...

When in...

It was my Dad's birthday at the weekend.

He & Mum decided to stay in, get a Chinese take-away and watch Columbo on TV. Which is fine.
If that's what they want to do, that's OK.

EXCEPT THEY WERE ON HOLIDAY IN ROME FOR THE WEEKEND!


They didn't even eat in an Italian restaurant once while they were there!

Unbelievable...