Scot the whole world...

I went to a conference in Scotland recently and stayed in a hotel.

I vowed to keep myself out of mischief, but then I managed to break my TV within seconds of getting to my room - part of the plug snapped off when I unplugged it from the wall.

I explained this to the receptionist & came back later to discover the replacement TV had no buttons (besides on/off) - the remote control was missing so the TV was untuneable

I told the manager (who had taken over at reception). He developed a peculiar bipolar fury/fawn complex; he would apologise to me profusely at the mistake, but then swear consonant-heavily (about the "f'kin' uddiot, stupp'd bast'rrd" who swapped the TVs) - but he flipped from one state to the other several times a sentence. I find a heavy Scots accent hard to follow at the best of times, but when some guy's swearing his head off but saying sorry, it all gets very confusing.

He brought up a replacement telly & plugged it in. No reception. That set him off again worse than before - he stomped away, loudly cursing and apologising. (Obviously a graduate from the Basil Fawlty School of Hotel Management.)

The aerial wasn't plugged in properly - a small tweak & it worked fine.
Blokey rang up from reception (although I don't know why he bothered, I could hear him just as clearly shouting from downstairs) about telly#4 so I relievedly told him all was well...
... and then fell asleep. I didn't watch any TV during my stay. Oops.
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Breakfast was another delight. Telling the chef which items I wanted for my fry-up, each time greeted with louder & more exaggerated yells of "NAE BOWTHER!"

Luckily I didn't found out how he'd react if it had been a bother...



And then on to the conference...
(to be continued)

Idea

You may have heard on the news that there's been another mess-up regarding MTAS. The highly-secure application system had a slight flaw, in that anyone could easily access anyone else's application online simply by changing one of the numbers in a page's URL.
So theoretically I might not get a job because someone's fiddled with my application form... (rather than on my own merits)

And because two-thirds of doctors have not been selected for any interviews, MTAS created "Round 1.b" which allows all of us to have one interview, presumably to stop us complaining (rather than, say, admit that they'd got it wrong and re-organise the whole process in a more fair way).

But now, after the online security breach, the website's been taken down.

So when & where are all our interviews going to be then?
They start on Monday and we were supposed to log on this week to get the details.

But this is currently what the entire site looks like:


No, seriously. Compare. (edit: Since I posted this, they've changed it slightly and now admit there was a problem - power to the people!)

What now MTAS?
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The Junior Doctor's Committee has made a suggestion regarding Patricia Hewitt, the Health Secretary.

Make her resign
- and then reapply for her job using the MTAS process.

"That means that her job would be scrapped and she'd have to re-apply without any of her experience counting, which is basically what the government has asked junior doctors to do."


Sounds fair to me...

Cold Play

So I'm in a bit of trouble.

I spent all of Sunday thinking I'd forgotten something important, but I couldn't remember what. Until I got a text from my best friend a few days later saying "Missed anyone's birthday recently?"

I rang him to talk - I felt terrible. He put me in my place and gloated a bit, but I think I'm forgiven so everything's not lost.

I want to get him something nice anyway. And that's the hardest part - I can't think of anything cool but not entirely useless.

Any thoughts?
I've seen some really funky clocks...

Acoustic Catarrh

This is brilliant.



And I've seen my mate Leo Abrahams do something similar live, only it was even more amazing.


And yet I still can't play this piece which I've been trying to learn for about 15 years! (although obviously not continuously - I'd bleed to death from the fingers)

Tarrega - Gran Val...

I reckon really good guitarists must have a secret extra joint in their fingers or something...

Sun set

I've spent most of this weekend outdoors.

I've bought rollerblades, a softball set, table tennis stuff, another frisbee, a skateboard, a football, 8 water pistols, a big pack of water bombs, a picnic rug & lots of picnic stuff.

A load of us doctors had a civilised barbecue this evening which devolved into carnage, initially with water fights, but culminating in a rather messy, squeezy tomato ketchup bottle battle.

I've had such a great weekend. I love summer.

Right, time to start reading that book I wanted to try & finish for tomorrow.
It's gonna be a late night...

Fat or Friction

Great news. I've just heard that a particular gene (or probably technically an "allele") has been discovered which is present in 70% of obese subjects.

Did anyone else hear the sigh of relief wheezed by overweight people all over the country?

I worry that this finding might be used as an excuse for people giving up and not trying to do anything about it...
"It's not my fault, it's m' genes!" mumbles Mr Fat, reaching for his fourth pie of the morning...



Otherwise I've had quite a nice day. The weather's been lovely and sunny & I've been in lectures so haven't actually had to do anything all day! In a break, a few of us even played frisbee outside.

Apparently there's a game called Ultimate Frisbee - team sport, quite serious, league matches and everything. One of the guys today plays it and I swear, I have never seen a frisbee thrown so well! Accurate, smooth regardless of whatever speed it's thrown, glides through the air like a UFO, no wobbling in the slightest... amazing... (well, maybe you had to be there)

I love frisbee. We even took one with us to Morocco and played frisbee in the Sahara!



Remember at school, when the weather was good, teacher would sometimes let you have a lesson outside? Well, I've suggested to the surgeon in the past that we could take all the equipment out with us and operate in the park near the hospital. He said no.

Spoilsport.

Quiz

Sorry for not posting for a while.

That's partly because I've spent an inordinate amount of time working through this fantastic quiz.

Those of you not applying for a medical career through MTAS are well-advised to try it, just to help you understand the feeling of frustration we are going through with our online application forms.


Plus I think some of the questions are the same.

Happy Eater
- S -

I am...

How are you? I just spent a nice, relaxing weekend miles away from the runaway train that is MTAS, so I bring you...

Things That Surprised Me In Amsterdam:


1) You don't have to have any involvement with drugs or the sex industry to have a good time in Amsterdam. Yeah, boring I know, but it's a really nice city. It's clean, the architecture is beautiful, there are lots of things to see & do, the restaurants are great, everyone speaks English... and there's this faint smell of something calming wherever you go...

2) The Dutch are the kings of fast food. Pancakes, waffles and best of all, fries with raw onions, ketchup & fritesaus... Meanwhile McDonalds sells the surprisingly tasty McKroket (which seems to just be a Findus Crispy Pancake in a bun).

3) It is true that at Schiphol Airport there is a fly painted onto each urinal so that you have something to aim for! (I got some strange looks checking this)

4) Despite the drugs & the fast food, and the fact that there are usually 6 lanes of traffic to contend with whenever you cross a road (car, tram & cycle lanes in both directions), your average Dutch is incredibly laid back yet can swear fluently about their boss in 4 languages - plus I didn't see an unattractive Dutch woman once (although the hen-night hags effortlessly brought down the average).



5) Walking back to the hotel, I did pass a few red-lit windows (no, I wasn't staying in a dodgy part of town, they're all over Amsterdam) and I reckon someone must be taking the piss - or maybe it's just excellent business-sense, knowing that there's a market for embarrassingly unappealing women to hand your drunken mate over to on an English stag do...

6) The bloke lied when he told me that tickets for the night time Jazz Canal Cruise always sold out - we passengers were outnumbered by the 4-piece jazz band & crew. I didn't mind - unlimited wine, cheese, olives & live Jazz on the beautifully-lit canals. Really cool.

7) I have never felt sorry for a work of art before. But in the Van Gogh Gallery, there's an amazing painting hanging in between the famous portrait of the artist's bedroom on one side and the even-more-famous "Sunflowers" on the other - but in the few minutes I was watching, not one person stopped to look at it. How sad...

8) The menu doesn't tell you everything - I didn't immediately notice that my breakfast pancake was on fire - which was nearly very messy!
(By the way, Grand Marnier burns with a transparent blue flame.)