Scot the whole world...
I went to a conference in Scotland recently and stayed in a hotel.
I vowed to keep myself out of mischief, but then I managed to break my TV within seconds of getting to my room - part of the plug snapped off when I unplugged it from the wall.
I explained this to the receptionist & came back later to discover the replacement TV had no buttons (besides on/off) - the remote control was missing so the TV was untuneable
I told the manager (who had taken over at reception). He developed a peculiar bipolar fury/fawn complex; he would apologise to me profusely at the mistake, but then swear consonant-heavily (about the "f'kin' uddiot, stupp'd bast'rrd" who swapped the TVs) - but he flipped from one state to the other several times a sentence. I find a heavy Scots accent hard to follow at the best of times, but when some guy's swearing his head off but saying sorry, it all gets very confusing.
He brought up a replacement telly & plugged it in. No reception. That set him off again worse than before - he stomped away, loudly cursing and apologising. (Obviously a graduate from the Basil Fawlty School of Hotel Management.)
The aerial wasn't plugged in properly - a small tweak & it worked fine.
Blokey rang up from reception (although I don't know why he bothered, I could hear him just as clearly shouting from downstairs) about telly#4 so I relievedly told him all was well...
... and then fell asleep. I didn't watch any TV during my stay. Oops.
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Breakfast was another delight. Telling the chef which items I wanted for my fry-up, each time greeted with louder & more exaggerated yells of "NAE BOWTHER!"
Luckily I didn't found out how he'd react if it had been a bother...
And then on to the conference...
(to be continued)
posted by Suman @ 12:29 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
There is nothing better than a heavy Scottish accent, ideally with lots of swearing. Now that I'm back on the west (best) coast I find myself using the phrase "nae bother" more and more, usually when talking to patients. I'm so professional...
"Nae bother" is topped by the even more impressive West Coast phrase "Nae danger Power Ranger"
I went back home to Scotland a few weeks ago.
Now the first thing I do after getting off the train in Glasgow is run to the Blue Lagoon to get a single haggis; sheer bliss after however many months of suffering in England knowing that unless it's burns day the only inferior substitute available is the tins of Grants stuff I took down with me the last time.
After that I get on the next train. And the last time, after a couple of stops, the guard made the announcement
"Haw, see youse two wee eijits, am watchin youse oan the telly cameras! Gonnae stoap playin wi the dairs oar am gonnae come n fling yis aff!"
Fantastic.
Sitting on a train with heartburn from the haggis and spots probably about to break out all over my face from the grease and fat, and listening to announcements that are utterly incomprehensible to anyone from down south and contain about three words of English.
What being back home is all about =b!
You also know you're back in Glasgow when you find yourself participating in the classic interchange of "Gonnae no dae that!" "How?" "Just, gonnae no"
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