Saturday, October 20, 2007

Gobby

Driving home just now I approached a roundabout, 4 exits.

Most of the traffic was coming from the high street on the right, going across the roundabout and trying to come off at the left exit - except the cars on the left were backed up due to a zebra crossing; so there was a line of cars queuing from right to left, not going anywhere.

On the other hand, I wanted to go across to the exit opposite. There was an empty section of the roundabout ahead of me marked Keep Clear, presumably for this very scenario. As no cars were coming, I started off.

Suddenly this skinhead chav whizzes round from the right, screeches to a halt at the Keep Clear box (which is still empty 'cos I've barely moved) and starts swearing at me through his open passenger side window, across his girlfriend who's sitting in the passenger seat.

I smile (which I admit was done to incense him further) but gesture for him to go through (there's nowhere for him to go of course but I thought it might calm him down a bit) - no, he stays there and carries on shouting at me.

At least I think he was shouting. My windows were shut and there was classical music on the radio so I couldn't hear him. It was almost like watching a TV documentary. This man looked like a shaved baboon, baring his teeth and gnashing away - goodness knows what he was saying but I don't think it was complimentary; I can't lipread very well, but I think he might've said something about wanting a banana...

He ranted on for about 20 seconds.

His girlfriend was looking pretty unimpressed already...

and then he spat at my car...

which was quite a way away from his...

so most of it went over her!



I'm trying to imagine the conversation they must've had as he drove off...

5 Comments:

At October 20, 2007 12:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wouldnt say it was much of a conversation. probably just huffs and grunts and every so often "banana"

 
At October 22, 2007 11:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent - i am utterly fascinated by chav behaviour. Chavs are a whole other species you know; they're from the same genus as chimps (Pan troglodyte) - they're known as Pan Chavis.

 
At October 22, 2007 11:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

she probably didn't - and doesn't - dare to say anything...

 
At October 23, 2007 5:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

be warned, i hear through disreputable channels that chav spit is highly corrosive and may in some cases actually carry the sperm of pan chavis. this accounts for both the acid resistant shell suits and the high levels of pregnancy in the female section of pan chavvius.
be afraid...

 
At October 25, 2007 10:17 PM, Blogger Rob said...

Ahh chavs. Always there to make fun of :-)

 

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